Murder at Wal-Mart Joke

Comments: 9
Posted on: September 3rd, 2009

: Image via Wikipedia

There are times something tickles my funny bone and I have to share it with you!

MURDER AT WAL-MART…

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

A ‘friend of a friend’ put him in touch with a nefarious, dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of ‘Artie.’

Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000..

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn’t have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife’s insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man’s wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor ……..

The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol’ Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well..

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store’s security guard, who immediately called t he police. Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store ..

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared…

(You’re going to hate me for this … )

‘ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!’

Diggdel.icio.usFacebookRedditStumbleUponTechnorati

9 Comments! What do you think? Leave a comment below...

HeatherinBC said on September 3rd, 2009 at 10:17 pm

No doubt you’ve read this before, but it’s funny all over again: http://bit.ly/h2RS4
Reply
HeatherinBC said on September 4th, 2009 at 8:45 am

Friday FunnY: http://bit.ly/h2RS4
Reply
Mouli Cohen (1 comments.) said on September 4th, 2009 at 12:46 pm

Ha! Cute joke!
Mouli Cohen´s last blog ..Mouli Cohen Videos updated Sun Aug 30 2009 1:41 pm CDT
Reply
ConnieFoggles (29 comments.) said on September 6th, 2009 at 2:45 pm

This reminds me of an old joke my Dad would tell about Artichokes. I have to admit I laughed
ConnieFoggles´s last blog ..Under 30 Rock Star Branding
Reply
Danu (1 comments.) said on September 9th, 2009 at 2:12 pm

Hahaha… funny!
Reply
Ted Neustaedter (1 comments.) said on September 10th, 2009 at 3:29 pm

Now that’s the kind of humour that leaves one choked for words.
Reply
Murray (21 comments.) said on September 11th, 2009 at 6:53 am

Love it Heather
Murray´s last blog ..Social Media Disaster, Trust and Winning Trust Back
Reply
abajan said on September 15th, 2009 at 4:13 pm

Nice one but the photo of the artichokes spoils it. Remove it so no one would suspect the punchline.
Reply
Tweets that mention Murder at Wal-Mart Joke | Beautiful British Columbia -- Topsy.com said on September 4th, 2009 at 1:11 pm

[...] this page was mentioned by HeatherinBC (@heatherinbc), HeatherinBC (@heatherinbc) and others. [...]